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Single? Seeking
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Recommended Books For SinglesHow To Find
Your Life Partner (a FREE e-program) 
 Click for book web site As our world grows increasingly complex, personal relationships, the basic building blocks of our society, seem to suffer more. As social beings, we need a strong community, extended family, close friends, and intact marriages and families. Previous generations inherited their family and community ties from their parents. But in today’s world most of us need to intentionally create these supportive relationships for ourselves. You are not alone. Today, there are more single people than ever in history: 82 million singles in the U.S., 40% of the population. The vast majority of singles desire a committed relationship, but the rules of dating and mating have changed, and we’re left to learn the new rules by trial and error. Our continued high divorce rate suggests that this process is painful, ineffective, and costly. Typically, after experiencing failure many singles become confused about how to make relationships work. They may hesitate to trust themselves and others and fear commitment. Unsatisfying and painful experiences breed discouragement and defensiveness, and this intensifies fear of intimacy and creates barriers to having the relationships we really want. Single and married, young and old, we all want the same thing: to love and be loved. We all have our strengths and challenges, dreams and fears. We all have the ability to learn and to choose. On the other hand, each of us is unique, and what worked for others won’t necessarily work for you. Today, a whole new world begins, and you are the pioneer of your own life. You can learn from those who went before you, but you can, and must, still find your own unique way. The good news is that you have many choices. Because we are not bound by the traditions of the past, we are free to have the life and relationships we really want. You’ve heard this before, but it bears repeating: with freedom comes responsibility. There is no quick fix, and you cannot rely on anything or anyone else to make your life and relationships work for you. Thhe information in this book can help to support you in meeting this challenge and to help you learn how to consciously create what you really want and deeply need in your life. Being single is truly an opportunity to create the life that you really want, to prepare for, and to find the relationship that you really want. This book will help you recognize this opportunity and take full advantage of it, while helping you avoid the many pitfalls and traps that can hold you back. The book provides effective tools and information you can use to find the love of your life and the life that you love.  Buy at Amazon 
If you are truly ready to enjoy relationships as "upset free zones" in which you experience deeper and more satisfying levels of love, connection, cooperation, creativity, synergy and more . . . then you will want to learn the secret revealed in Your 're Never Upset for the Reason You Think - The CURE for the Common Upset. This book will show you exactly how you can uncover the real cause of any problem or upset, stop the pain and halt the slide toward more upset and disappointment, every single time. The result: joyful, close and fulfilling relationships that are no longer poisoned by bad feelings, hurt, anger, and the inevitable "distance" that follows. You're Never Upset for the Reason You Think will reveal to you the newest and most powerful conflict resolution tool ever created - and the last you will ever need, called the Conscious Upset Resolution Exercise (CURE). The CURE is a simple, easy to learn, step-by-step method to neutralize, clarify, and resolve any upset you may encounter . . . with lovers, business partners, co-workers, family members, children and any other relationship that is important to you.  Buy at Amazon 
With this powerful new guidebook you can create the magnificent relationships you truly desire. Featuring an insightful exploration of the dynamics of your interactions with others, Straight From the Heart also provides step-by-step guidance and practical processes you can do with your romantic partner, business colleagues, family members or friends. No matter how gifted (or unpracticed) a communicator you are, each of these "Heart-to-Heart Talks" will bring you new levels of intimacy, trust and understanding. They create an atmosphere of discovery and a fuller experience of who and what you are - both as an individual and in the context of your most important relationships. Direct, concise and immediately beneficial, this book is based on the authors' 23 years of personal and professional experience. All of the exercises were conceived in the Cutright's own romantic partnership and perfected in their successful teaching practice.  Buy at Amazon 
"What should you ask someone before you get seriously involved?" Eve Eschner Hogan wondered while she was starting a long-distance relationship with her future husband, Steve Hogan. Intellectual Foreplay is designed to spark stimulation and interest through intimate communication. "Like its physical counterpart, [it] can build excitement and desire--or quickly reveal a lack of compatibility, saving you months, or even years, of developing a relationship that isn't going to work," say the author. The book starts with "Who Are You?" questions covering a myriad of topics, such as self-esteem, values, hobbies, trust, romance, spirituality, health, and time management. Other sections include "Where Did You Come From?" (past, family, friends, education, and intelligence), "Where Are You Going?" (money, work, and future), "Can We Live Together?" (home, household responsibilities, food, bathroom, pets, vehicles, garden), and "Where Are We Going?" (vacations, holidays, children, wedding, and sex). Tips for using the questions productively are peppered throughout the book. For example, figure out your top 20 "non-negotiable" questions and answer them yourself before asking them of a partner. It's an interesting spin on relationship deepening, and will certainly spark conversation. What distinguishes Intellectual Foreplay from similar titles is that it includes guidelines on what to do with the answers it gives. This makes it useful in both creating and sustaining a relationship.  Buy at Amazon 
Online dating provides us with an amazing way to make introductions to hundreds, if not thousands, of potential partners. The challenge is that unless we have the interpersonal skills (and often fortitude!) to turn that introduction into a lasting face-to-face relationship, an introduction will only take us just so far. Virtual Foreplay describes how to make meaningful contact online and then successfully shift that love offline. Topics include choosing online dating services, handling online rejection, "fifty ways to delete your lover" and the emotional and safety concerns of the first real-life encounter. Virtual Foreplay is much more than just a "how to date online" book! You’ll also learn how to make your email more romantic and appealing, while at the same time, discovering how online dating can raise your self-esteem, help you establish clearer boundaries, and enhance critical interpersonal skills that will positively and powerfully impact your ability to create lasting and joyful love—online and off!  Buy at Amazon 
EXCUSE ME, YOUR LIFE IS WAITING: THE ASTONISHING POWER OF FEELINGS picks up where most positive thinking books have left off, giving us the rather startling new information that every moment of our lives is governed by our EMOTIONS, not by luck, or hard work, or circumstance, or good thoughts, or visualization. The material in EXCUSE ME has never been told before, because it was never known before, and clarifies why the majority of us have lived with all-too-empty bank accounts, tough relationships, failing health, and often spiritually unfulfilling lives. In her upbeat, humorous, and somewhat irreverent style, author Lynn Grabhorn (who increased her income 830% in one year using these principles) shows us how, with this astonishing new data, to turn it all around and create the kind of life we've always dreamed of...not ten years from now, but RIGHT NOW.  Buy at Amazon 
Books in the Rebuilding Books series "for divorce and beyond" are written for those going through divorce or rebuilding their lives after divorce. Inspired by the work of renowned divorce therapist, Dr. Bruce Fisher, the Rebuilding Books offer expert information and practical self-help procedures. These straightforward, life-affirming resources can help make the divorce process easier, healthier, and less painful, leading to more-fulfilled lives and stronger "second-time" relationships. If you're hurting after a divorce, you need this supportive step-by-step program for putting your life back together. The newly revised and updated third edition offers just the right balance of shoulder-to-cry-on and kick-in-the-pants to help you get through the confusing and often-painful process. Learn the Secrets of Happiness. In a culture that glorifies the carefree pleasures of youth, we are often preoccupied with the search for happiness and complain when the reality of adult responsibility pulls us farther and farther away from our adolescent hopes and expectation. But with remarkable wit and irreverence, Dr. Frank Pittman reassures us that all adults can, indeed, achieve happiness. His solution for this modern malaise is refreshingly simple: Grow up. Stop confusing happiness with self-indulgence and learn to appreciate the simple pleasures in life. Dr. Pittman cleverly blends his professional wisdom with cultural parallels, weaving references to film, literature and other modern-day icons with his own experiences and case studies. With a clear sense of optimism and enthusiasm, he illustrates the rewards that accompany the transition into adulthood. He takes on gender role, marriage, parenting, divorce, and depression and reveals some of his secrets of living happily. Revealing that the true essence of happiness stems from personal honor and integrity, Dr. Pittman urges adults to reconsider their roles in their families and society, because "knowing that we have the power to increase the level of happiness in the world may be the ultimate secret of happiness."  Buy at Amazon 
The author coins a new word, "quirkyalone" to describe a person who enjoys being single (but is not opposed to being in a relationship) and generally prefers to be alone rather than date for the sake of being in a couple. With unique traits and an optimistic spirit; quirkyalone is a sensibility that transcends relationship status.  Buy at Amazon 
The current generation of young Americans is delaying marriage longer than any other generation in history. But while the media trumpets this fact in a way that seems designed to scare us, until now no one has really taken the time to understand what people are doing instead. Driven by his personal desire to understand why his single life stretched far into his thirties, Ethan Watters explores the cultural and social forces that have steered his generation away from the altar-and discovers many reasons to be optimistic about the course his generation has chosen. Central to his thinking is the idea of Urban Tribes: the closely knit communities of friends that spring up during the ever-increasing period of time between college and married life. Tribes are revealed to be the key to understanding this generation, explaining not only why its members are putting off marriage, but also why singles often live outside of families so happily. In the end, Watters makes the case that the tribe years engender the self-respect critical to successful partnerships.  Buy at Amazon 
The must-have guide for any woman who’s ever thought about saying “yes” to the other big question: Will you move in with me? More and more couples are choosing to live together before tying the knot—for convenience, to save money and, most importantly, to see if they’re compatible. While living together can be an exciting way to take your relationship to the next level, it can also present a host of new questions and challenges. With its fresh, girlfriend-to-girlfriend manner, Shacking Up walks you through every step of the cohabitation process, from making the initial decision to breaking up or getting married. Beginning with a readiness quiz to help you decide if you and your honey are prepared to take the plunge, authors Stacy and Wynne Whitman provide a wealth of hands-on advice from lawyers, psychologists and financial planners as well as entertaining, true-life stories from couples with shacking up experience. Topics include: breaking the news to your family; managing and merging your finances; protecting yourself legally; real-estate decisions; and day-to-day dilemmas such as chores, privacy, and keeping the spark alive. Whether you opt for wedding bells or decide he’s not the one for you, Shacking Up is a stylish, empowering handbook for staying smart, savvy, and true to yourself along the road to happily ever after.  Buy at Amazon 
This authoritative and provocative book reveals the benefits-emotional, physical, economic, and sexual-that marriage brings to individuals and society as a whole. Everyone knows that we are experiencing an epidemic of divorce; rates of single-parenthood and unmarried cohabitation are skyrocketing while marriage rates continue to decline. Yet 93% of Americans still say they hope to form a lasting and happy union with one person, though fewer now believe that this is possible. Numerous books have been written about the impact of divorce on men, women, children, and society at large. But no one has yet studied the long-term benefits of being and staying married. The Case for Marriage is a critically important intervention in the national debate about the future of the family. Based on the authoritative research of family sociologist Linda Waite and other scholars, the book's findings dramatically contradict the anti-marriage myths that have become the common sense of most Americans. Today a broad consensus holds that marriage is a bad deal for women, that divorce is better for children when parents are unhappy, and that marriage is essentially a private choice, not a public institution. Waite and Gallagher flatly contradict these assumptions, arguing instead that by a broad range of indices, being married is actually better for you physically, materially, and spiritually than being single or divorced. Married people live longer, have better health, earn more money and accumulate more wealth, feel more fulfilled in their lives, enjoy more satisfying sexual relationships, and have happier and more successful children than those who remain single, cohabit, or get divorced. Statistics show, for example, that violence is less prevalent in married households and that divorce reduces male life expectancy on the order of a pack-a-day cigarette habit. While their book is not primarily a work of moral exhortation, the authors argue that in order for marriage to do its beneficial work it must be treated as a socially preferred option, not merely one choice among others that are equally valid. Combining clearheaded analysis, penetrating cultural criticism, and practical advice for strengthening the institution of marriage, the authors provide clear, essential guidelines for reestablishing marriage as the foundation for a healthy and happy society.  Buy at Amazon 
In Getting the Love You Want, Dr. Harville Hendrix presents the relationship skills that have already helped hundreds of thousands of couples to replace confrontation and criticism with a healing process of mutual growth and support. This extraordinary practical guide describes the revolutionary technique of Imago Relationship Therapy, which combines a number of disciplines--including the behavioral sciences, depth psychology, cognitive therapy, and Gestalt therapy, among others-- to create a program to resolve conflict and renew communication and passion. Getting the Love You Want describes the three stages of intimate relationships, provides illustrative case studies and gives helpful recommendations to overcome the obstacles in those stages to create a stronger bond between couples. First, he chronicles the stages of most relationships-attraction, romantic love and the power struggle-and suggests ways for partners to identify the conflicts associated with each of them. Then, he explores methods for achieving a "Conscious Marriage," where the early phases of romance are rekindled and confrontation is slowly replaced by growth and support. Finally, Dr. Hendrix incorporates these ideas into a unique therapeutic course, offering a series of proven exercises that lead to insight, resolution and revitalization. Step by step, he describes how to communicate with greater accuracy and sensitivity, how to let go of self-defeating behaviors, and how to focus energy on meeting each partners' needs. With Getting the Love You Want couples in any stage of a relationship can resolve their conflicts and achieve mutual emotional satisfaction.  Buy at Amazon 
Whatever your history, whatever your heartbreak, as a single person you are in an ideal position to learn what you need to know and what you can do to greatly improve your chances for finding, and keeping, love. Noted relationship therapist and best selling author Harville Hendrix points to the positive changes you can make in your life to achieve the lasting love you seek. Even the most well-adjusted people can have unresolved conflicts that make them seek out unsuitable romantic partners, unwittingly sabotage their relationships, and run from commitment without ever knowing why. In Keeping the Love You Find you'll discover how to:
Keeping the Love You Find will help you start your next relationship in a healthy way and keep you loving for a lifetime.  Buy at Amazon 
John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage by using rigorous scientific procedures to observe the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over many years. Here is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Packed with practical questionnaires and exercises, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.  Buy at Amazon 
Don't break up before the breakthrough! Have you ever believed that you have fallen out of love, or said "I still love him but I'm not IN LOVE anymore?" In this groundbreaking guide to the physiology and psychology of lasting love, Dr. Pat Love reveals that love has normal, predictable stages that include highs and lows, and that many couples mistake the lows for the end of love. The Truth About Love is an inspiring, practical guide that will teach you how not to break up before the breakthrough realization: You can create the true love you long for with the partner you already have.  Buy at Amazon 
Here is a powerful new program that can clear away the unconscious agreements patterns that undermine even your best intentions. Through their own marriage and through twenty years' experience counseling more than one thousand couples, therapists Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks have developed precise strategies to help you create a vital partnership and enhance the energy, creativity, and happiness of each individual. You will learn how to: Let go of power struggles and need for control; Balance needs for closeness and separateness; Increase intimacy by telling the "microscopic truth"; Communicate in a positive way that stops arguments; Make agreements you can keep; Allow more pleasure into your life. Addressed to individuals as well as to couples, Conscious Loving will heal old hurts and deepen your capacity for enjoyment, security, and enduing love.  Buy at Amazon 
At once shocking, entertaining, and profound--Radical Honesty is revolutionary book that takes a fresh look at how we live, love, and attempt to heal ourselves in modern society. Radical Honesty is not a kinder, gentler self-help book. In it Dr. Brad Blanton, a psychotherapist and expert on stress management, explodes the myths, superstitions, and lies by which we live. He shows us how stress comes not from the environment, but from the self-built jail of the mind. What keeps us in our self-built jails is lying. "We all lie like hell," Dr. Blanton says. "It wears us out...it is the major source of all human stress. It kills us." Not telling our friends, lovers, spouses, or bosses about what we do, feel, or think keeps us locked in that jail. The way out is to get good at telling the truth. Dr. Blanton provides the tools we can use to escape the jail of the mind. This book is the cake with the file in it. In Radical Honesty, Dr. Blanton coaches us on how to have lives that work, how to have relationships that are alive and passionate, and how to create intimacy where none exists. As we have been taught by the philosophical and spiritual sources of our culture for thousands of years, from Plato to Nietzsche, from the Bible to Emerson, the truth shall set you free.  Buy at Amazon 
In The Four Agreements, don Miguel Ruiz reveals the source of self-limiting agreements that rob people of joy and create needless suffering. Based on ancient Toltec wisdom, the Four Agreements offer a powerful code of conduct that can rapidly transform anyone’s life to a new experience of freedom, true happiness, and love. These agreements are deceptively simple: Be impeccable with your word (speak with integrity; say only what you mean); Don’t take anything personally (nothing others do is because of you); Don’t make assumptions (find the courage to ask questions and express what you really want); Always do your best (and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret). |
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